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Embracing Congruence in Leadership

Aligning with Your Authentic Self

Congruence in Leadership- Photo of balancing stones overlooking the ocean

As a woman’s leadership coach, I find the concept of Congruence particularly vital. In our journey toward becoming effective leaders, understanding and aligning with our core values is not just beneficial—it’s essential. Congruence means consistently living in harmony with our beliefs and values. It’s about being authentic to who we aim to be, and when we achieve this alignment, the sense of fulfillment and pride we experience is unparalleled.

The Essence of Congruence

Congruence is the internal peace and satisfaction we feel when our actions and lives reflect our values and beliefs. It’s the alignment between what we say we want and how we act towards (or away) from that desire. When there’s a gap, we feel dissonant and unsettled, which can lead to this internal feeling of unrest, unhappiness or even depression. On the flip side, living a life where we are aligned with what brings us joy, fulfills our internal values, and gives us the vibe of integrity, that is fulfillment and congruence.

 Why Congruence Matters to Me

As a coach, the importance of congruence in leadership resonates deeply with me. I’ve observed many leaders struggle not because they lack skills, but because they lack alignment. Their professional actions and personal values are at odds, leading to dissatisfaction and ineffectiveness. Teaching congruence offers a pathway to authentic leadership, where decisions are driven by deeply held beliefs, leading to more meaningful and effective leadership.  Your team, family, friends, they can sense it when we are out of alignment, and that erodes trust in the relationships we hold most sacred. Is it worth it?

 Evaluating Congruence

During our coaching sessions, we do a self-assessment to understand our level of congruence. Reflecting on questions like:

  • “Am I living in alignment with my values and who I aspire to be?”
  • “Do I treat others the way I hope to be treated?”
  • “Am I honest and trustworthy?”

These reflections are critical in my practice. They help us pinpoint where we are on our path to congruence in life and at work plus help guide us in realigning our actions with our values. Sometimes we need someone else’s eyes on our life or our business to help shine a bright light on what we are doing right and hold space for where we can lean into growth.

Living Your Best Self

Reflect on a recent situation where you felt proud of your decisions. What values were you upholding? How did this alignment make you feel? Similarly, consider times when you felt you weren’t your best self. What compromised your values? Understanding these situations can teach us about our triggers and help us navigate them better in the future.

Teaching Integrity

My coaching practice focuses on living with integrity and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and constant alignment checks. It’s about setting the rules you want to live by and figuring out how to return to them when we fall out of sync.

street sign, ethics, honesty, integrity

The Framework for Congruence:

My 5 Directives

To help embed these values into everyday life, I introduce a framework called “My 5 Directives.” It involves identifying your top values across major life areas—health, relationships, career, emotional well-being, and lifestyle—and setting clear, actionable directives for each. It’s about creating guardrails, and recovery strategies for when we veer off course.

Examples of Directives

  1. **Health** Value your health by setting regular exercise as a non-negotiable part of your routine. If you miss a session, double your commitment the next day.
  2.  **Relationships** Value deep connections by ensuring weekly check-ins with people you love. If you skip a week, make it a priority to reconnect as soon as possible.
  3. **Career** Value continuous learning by dedicating time each week to professional development. Missed your learning this week? Schedule it first thing the following week.

Recap and Moving Forward

As you review your commitment to living a congruent life, notice your emotional highs and lows and set clear commitments to align your daily actions with your deepest values. Do you journal? Your insights are valuable information, and applying them consistently will build your inner leadership compass and stoke your personal satisfaction.

Aligning with your authentic self isn’t just about being a better leader—it’s about living a more fulfilling life. Embrace congruence, and watch as every area of your life transforms.

Marilyn Dollar- Woman sitting at desk
Marilyn Dollar - The Woman's Coach

They call me the C-Suite Whisperer.

High-Performance Coach For Leaders and CEO’s. It’s time to embrace your true identity and grow into your next achievement!

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